You probably don’t want to waste time here, so let’s get to it.
1. Team Breakdown
A good marriage typically functions as a team. When you find yourselves on opposing sides, resentment can quickly build to critical mass. If you find yourself generally annoyed by your partner or preferring the support of others to your spouse, therapy can help you understand why.
2. Unhealthy Communication
Most relationship trouble stems from poor communication. For example, when there is a history of small issues blowing up into epic confrontations, you or your spouse can develop a fear of open communication. Also, if you are continually speaking negatively to each other, it often fosters feelings of shame and insecurity, encourages withdrawal and can escalate to verbal abuse.
3. Never-Ending Conflict
Everyone has a breaking point, but when the fight starts over a dirty glass in the sink and happens every day, there are likely deeper rooted issues. Most couples have fundamental differences, and counseling can help you learn how to find common ground or agree to disagree.
4. Keeping Secrets
Keeping secrets from your partner can mean severe underlying problems, for example:
- Financial Infidelity – If your spouse is hiding their spending, it could indicate a lack of trust or addictive behavior like compulsive gambling or shopping.
- Romantic Infidelity – The desire for an extra-marital sexual encounter could mean that something important is missing in your relationship.
- Social Media/Emotional Infidelity – Hiding social media activity or having an emotional affair could be just as indicative of inadequacies in your marriage as a sexual encounter.
5. Changes in the Bedroom
Sex life often ebbs and flows, however significant or long-lasting changes usually signal trouble, either with an individual or in the marriage. Often, if your partner feels the need to atone for something, it could translate into a desire for more sex than usual.
6. Withholding Affection
Withholding affection could include the silent treatment, no physical contact and no explanation. If you or your partner is punishing the other or assuming a parental role, this usually means there is a power imbalance and your marriage is no longer functioning as a team.
When there is a lack of intimacy and communication, it often means a dynamic relationship is deteriorating to a mere co-existence. If you feel like you live more like roommates, therapy could help you and your partner revive your marriage.
If any of these red flags seem familiar to you, it might be most vital to seek professional now before you pass the point of no return. A marriage therapist, like a couples therapist in Palatine, IL, can work with you and your spouse to get your future back on the right track.
Thank you to the experts at Lotus Wellness Center, for their contributions to counseling and therapy.